It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven. – Josh Billings
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. – Josh Billings
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it aint gout. – Josh Billings
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. – Josh Billings