When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw up your taxes. – Don Drysdale, 1978

They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans. – George F. Will, 1990

Baseball is drama with an endless run and an ever-changing cast. – Joe Garagiola, Baseball is a Funny Game

Ideally, the umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job and the imperturbability of Buddha. – "The Villains in Blue," Time magazine, 25 August 1961