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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. – W. C. Fields

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Its simple, if it jiggles, its fat. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

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I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

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In my experience, its not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows. – Michael Mandelbaum

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Its interesting – I always thought when I was doing more melodramatic stuff like Everwood that the directors were constantly reeling me in and stopping me from being funny. – Chris Pratt

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The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. – Gore Vidal

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Some major writers have a huge impact, like Ayn Rand, who to my mind is a lousy fiction writer because her writing has no compassion and virtually no humor. She has a philosophical and economical message that she is passing off as fiction, but it really isnt fiction at all. – Theodore Sturgeon

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Celebrity is a mask that eats into the face. As soon as one is aware of being somebody, to be watched and listened to with extra interest, input ceases, and the performer goes blind and deaf in his overanimation. One can either see or be seen. – John Updike

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Anyone in politics would like to have great economic numbers. – Terry McAuliffe

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