Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled, and it makes a sound when you jump on it. – Stephen Baker

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction — and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by. – Stephen Baker

Cats are notoriously sore losers. Coming in second best, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as a human being, grates their sensibility. – Stephen Baker