Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. – Josh Billings
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland. – Josh Billings
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. – Josh Billings
Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so. – Josh Billings
Girls blush, sometimes, because they are alive, half wishing they were dead to save the shame. The sudden blush devours them, neck and brow; They have drawn too near the fire of life, like gnats, and flare up bodily, wings and all. What then? Whos sorry for a gnat or girl? – Elizabeth Barrett Browning
What I dont like is when I see stuff that I know has had a lot of improv done or is playing around where theres no purpose to the scene other than to just be funny. What you dont want is funny scene, funny scene, funny scene, and now heres the epiphany scene and then the movies over. – Paul Feig