My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But thats just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun. – Tom Lehrer
When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex. – Tom Lehrer
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. – Tom Lehrer
Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. – Tom Lehrer
Mind you, Ive always been a very off-message type of fat broad one who gladly admits she reached the size she is now solely through lack of discipline and love of pleasure, and who rather despises people (except those with proven medical conditions) who pretend that it is generally otherwise. – Julie Burchill