Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization. – Ambrose Bierce
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. – Ambrose Bierce
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. – Ambrose Bierce
Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced. – Ambrose Bierce
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. – Douglas Adams