Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. – Ambrose Bierce
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country. – Ambrose Bierce
Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. – Ambrose Bierce
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. – Ambrose Bierce