To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead. – Samuel Butler
Theist and atheist: the fight between them is as to whether God shall be called God or shall have some other name. – Samuel Butler
It is immoral to get drunk because the headache comes after the drinking, but if the headache came first and the drunkenness afterwards, it would be moral to get drunk. – Samuel Butler
Always eat grapes downward — that is eat the best grapes first; in this way there will be none better left on the bunch, and each grape will seem good down to the last. If you eat the other way, you will not have a good grape in the lot. – Samuel Butler