My dad doesnt get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesnt understand them. Hes just laughing because people around him are laughing. – Zach Galifianakis
I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal. – Zach Galifianakis
That show, The Amazing Race – is that about white people? – Zach Galifianakis
We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs Ive ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the Girlfriend in a Coma is, like, really funny. – Zach Galifianakis
My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them. – Marco Rubio