The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said hed like to help, but hes pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. – Conan OBrien
President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isnt that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003. – Conan OBrien
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. – Conan OBrien
There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized. – Conan OBrien
The Imperial German Government will not expect the Government of the United States to omit any word or any act necessary to the performance of its sacred duty of maintaining the rights of the United States and its citizens and of safeguarding their free exercise and enjoyment. – William Jennings Bryan
In a very weak economy, when you say cut government spending, what you mean is youre laying off school teachers and youre de-funding various programs that put money into the economy. This means you have more unemployed people that then draw unemployment benefits and dont pay taxes. – Fareed Zakaria