The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said hed like to help, but hes pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. – Conan OBrien
Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasnt changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that hes started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. – Conan OBrien
Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. – Conan OBrien
The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality. – Conan OBrien
Ive been in and out of Wall Street since 1949, and Ive never seen the type of animosity between government and Wall Street. And Im not sure where it comes from, but I suspect its got to do with a general schism in this society which is really becoming ever more destructive. – Alan Greenspan