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Statistics

98% of all statistics are made up. – Author Unknown

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. – Aaron Levenstein

Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and one foot in an ice bucket. According to the percentage people, you should be perfectly comfortable. – Bobby Bragan, 1963

Statistics can be made to prove anything – even the truth. – Author Unknown

Statistics are human beings with the tears wiped off. – Paul Brodeur, Outrageous Misconduct

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. – Author Unknown

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts — for support rather than for illumination. – Andrew Lang

One more fagot of these adamantine bandages is the new science of Statistics. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Statistics are like women; mirrors of purest virtue and truth, or like whores to use as one pleases. – Theodor Billroth

Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say. – William W. Watt

Then there is the man who drowned crossing a stream with an average depth of six inches. – W.I.E. Gates

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up. – Rex Stout, Death of a Doxy

I always find that statistics are hard to swallow and impossible to digest. The only one I can ever remember is that if all the people who go to sleep in church were laid end to end they would be a lot more comfortable. – Mrs. Robert A. Taft

Satan delights equally in statistics and in quoting scripture…. – H.G. Wells, The Undying Fire

The average human has one breast and one testicle. – Des McHale

The plural of anecdote is data. – Raymond Wolfinger

A statistical analysis, properly conducted, is a delicate dissection of uncertainties, a surgery of suppositions. – M.J. Moroney

Statistics may be defined as “a body of methods for making wise decisions in the face of uncertainty.” – W.A. Wallis

After all, facts are facts, and although we may quote one to another with a chuckle the words of the Wise Statesman, “Lies – damned lies – and statistics,” still there are some easy figures the simplest must understand, and the astutest cannot wriggle out of. – Leonard Courtney, speech, August 1895, New York, "To My Fellow-Disciples at

Statistics are just a way for the mathematician to evangelize his faith. – Hunter Brinkmeier