A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills. – Ambrose Bierce
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others. – Ambrose Bierce
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due. – Ambrose Bierce
Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy. – Ambrose Bierce