Ive been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so its pretty equal. I dont know why that is. Its been the same thing for a while. Its hard for female comedians to stand out. Thats weird. Thats a shame. – Ellen DeGeneres
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. – Ellen DeGeneres
Id like to be more patient! I just want everything now. Ive tried to meditate, but its really hard for me to stay still. Id like to try to force myself to do it, because everybody says how wonderful meditation is for you, but I cant shut my mind up. So patience and learning is the key. – Ellen DeGeneres
The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift. – Ellen DeGeneres