Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day. – Bill Vaughan
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. – Bill Vaughan
The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he wont take it, but somebody always does. – Bill Vaughan
It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. – Bill Vaughan
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin