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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. – Matt Groening, The Simpsons

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Other Quotes from
Television
category

Television has changed a child from an irresistible force to an immovable object. – Author Unknown

Category:
Television

Television is becoming a collage — there are so many channels that you move through them making a collage yourself. In that sense, everyone sees something a bit different. – David Hockney

Category:
Television

There is nothing more mysterious than a TV set left on in an empty room. It is even stranger than a man talking to himself or a woman standing dreaming at her stove. It is as if another planet is communicating with you. – Jean Baudrillard

Category:
Television

Television is the first truly democratic culture – the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want. – Clive Barnes

Category:
Television

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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key. – Yakov Smirnoff

Category:
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I just get so fed up with seeing the same things written about me. If I see the words ice queen attached to me, I feel like banging my head against the wall. Theres this perception that I can only be in a film if I have a glass of champagne in my hand and a stately home in the background. – Kristin Scott Thomas

Category:
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The world is bad but not without hope. It is only hopeless when you look at it from an ideal viewpoint. – Friedrich Durrenmatt

Category:
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President Obama likes to talk about the Buffett Rule. Well, heres a Buffett Rule that all Americans should be able to support: mom and pop businesses should not pay a higher tax rate than Fortune 500 corporations like Warren Buffetts. – Rob Portman

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mom