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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. – Matt Groening, The Simpsons

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Other Quotes from
Television
category

The failures of the press have contributed immensely to the emergence of a talk-show nation, in which public discourse is reduced to ranting and raving and posturing. – Carl Bernstein

Category:
Television

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new type program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was. – Art Buchwald, "Adding Insult to Injury," Have I Ever Lied to You?, 1966

Category:
Television

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off. – Jack Paar

Category:
Television

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too. – Peter De Vries

Category:
Television

Random Quotes

Now my innocence begins to weigh me down. – Jean Racine

Category:
Innocence

If everybody minded their own business, the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, the world would go round a deal faster than it does. – Lewis Carroll

Category:
Invervention

He who has been bitten by a snake fears a piece of string. – Proverb

Category:
Experience

At the time I came along, Hollywoods idea of teen movies meant there had to be a lot of nudity, usually involving boys in pursuit of sex, and pretty gross overall. Either that or a horror movie. And the last thing Hollywood wanted in their teen movies was teenagers! – John Hughes

Category:
movies