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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. – Matt Groening, The Simpsons

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Other Quotes from
Television
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TV is a fickle business. Im only good for the length of my contract. – Tom Brokaw

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So why do people keep on watching? The answer, by now, should be perfectly obvious: we love television because television brings us a world in which television does not exist. In fact, deep in their hearts, this is what the spuds crave most: a rich, new, participatory life. – Barbara Ehrenreich

Category:
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Lets face it, there are no plain women on television. – Anna Ford

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There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set. – Harriet van Horne

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