Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. – Matt Groening, The Simpsons

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Other Quotes from
Television
category

Television thrives on unreason, and unreason thrives on television. It strikes at the emotions rather than the intellect. – Sir Robin Day

Category:
Television

All television is educational television. The question is: what is it teaching? – Nicholas Johnson

Category:
Television

Television is an excellent system when one has nothing to lose, as is the case with a nomadic and rootless country like the United States, but in Europe the affect of television is that of a bulldozer which reduces culture to the lowest possible denominator. – Marc Fumaroli

Category:
Television

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too. – Peter De Vries

Category:
Television

Random Quotes

Its funny when people say, I dont think Julia likes me. Honey, if I dont like you, youre going to know about it. – Julia Roberts

Category:
funny

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two thick layers of praise. – Mary Kay Ash

Category:
Wise Words

Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery. – Calvin Coolidge

Category:
Presidents Day

Id like to think a baseball picture is somewhere in my future. – Garth Brooks

Category:
Future