It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind. – Jonathan Swift
Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of ones friends and relatives children. – P. J. ORourke
