Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in? – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Representative Men, 1850
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. – Elbert Hubbard
Pregnancy is a kind of miracle. Especially so in that it proves that a man and woman can conspire to force God to create a new soul. – Robert Anton Wilson
