The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions. – Samuel Butler
If you follow reason far enough it always leads to conclusions that are contrary to reason. – Samuel Butler
When the water of a place is bad it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through either the berry of a grape, or else a tub of malt. These are the most reliable filters yet invented. – Samuel Butler
A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it. – Samuel Butler