The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions. – Samuel Butler
When the water of a place is bad it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through either the berry of a grape, or else a tub of malt. These are the most reliable filters yet invented. – Samuel Butler
People care more about being thought to have taste than about being thought either good, clever or amiable. – Samuel Butler
The function of vice is to keep virtue within reasonable bounds. – Samuel Butler
I have long been one of those tedious people who rails against the coronation of student-athletes. I have heard the argument that big-time athletics bring in loads of money to universities. I dont believe the money goes anywhere other than back into the sports teams, but thats another story. – Susan Orlean