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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. – Dave Barry, “Your Disintegrating Body,” Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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Ive never looked forward to a birthday like Im looking forward to my new daughters birthday, because two days after that is when I can apply for reinstatement. – Pete Rose

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It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, youll find one at the end of your arm. – Sam Levenson

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I worked at an ice cream parlor called Chadwicks. We wore old-timey outfits and had to bang a drum, play a kazoo, and sing Happy Birthday to people while giving them free birthday sundaes. Lots of ice cream scooping and $1 tips. – Amy Poehler

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My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her. – Guy Johnson

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We make our friends we make our enemies but God makes our next door neighbour. – Gilbert K. Chesterton

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The problem is no longer that with every pair of hands that comes into the world there comes a hungry stomach. Rather it is that, attached to those hands are sharp elbows. – Paul A. Samuelson, Newsweek, 12 June 1967

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My brother and I had a really privileged relationship with my parents… They treated us like adults. – Henry Louis Gates

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I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me, have all fallen during a man repeller stage… funny how life works out like that. – Rachel Roy

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