The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth. – George Jean Nathan
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Comedy naturally wears itself out — destroys the very food on which it lives; and by constantly and successfully exposing the follies and weaknesses of mankind to ridicule, in the end leaves itself nothing worth laughing at. – William Hazlitt
Life doesnt make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedys job is to point out that it doesnt make sense, and that it doesnt make much difference anyway. – Eric Idle
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. – Ellen DeGeneres
The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference – they deserve a place of honor with all thats good. – George Washington
The military infrastructure grew me. My faith in God is important, my belief in my country is important, my relationship to my family is important, the things that Mom and Dad tell you growing up are important. – Tommy Franks
Inductive reason, which alone makes man master of his environment, is an achievement and when once born it must be reinforced by inhibiting the growth of other modes of knowledge. – Muhammad Iqbal