I have spent most of the day putting in a comma and the rest of the day taking it out. – Oscar Wilde, variously worded paraphrase, see quoteinvestigator.com/2015/10/25/c

There’s the Oxford comma, but I like the Shatner comma. It’s when you pepper them in, so, you know where, to add, dramatic pauses. – Nicole Leigh Shaw

I always put the apostrophe in “ain’t” to make certain I’m using proper improper English. – Author unknown

Mr Speaker, I said the honourable Member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honourable Member may place the punctuation where he pleases. – Attributed to Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751–1816), responding to a rebuk