My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. – Quentin Crisp
Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level. – Quentin Crisp
Health consists of having the same diseases as ones neighbors. – Quentin Crisp
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. – Quentin Crisp
Two little girls, on their way home from Sunday school, were solemnly discussing the lesson. “Do you believe there is a devil?” asked one. “No,” said the other promptly. “It’s like Santa Claus: it’s your father.” – Nebelspalter (Zurich, Switzerland), quoted in The Literary Digest, Vol.106, 1930