If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey
A drunkard in the gutter is just where he ought to be, according to the fitness and tendency of things. Nature has set upon him the process of decline and dissolution by which she removes things which have survived their usefulness. – William Graham Sumner
I do support a constitutional amendment on marriage between a man and a woman, but I would not be going into the states to overturn their state law. – Michele Bachmann
Playing and singing at the same time is pretty cool, but sometimes its difficult to know when you can just really let go a bit because youve got to get back to bloody microphone and sing some stuff. – Graham Coxon
