Humor is the ability to see three sides to one coin. – Ned Rorem
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If a dog doesnt put you first where are you both? In what relation? A dog needs God. It lives by your glances, your wishes. It even shares your humor. This happens about the fifth year. If it doesnt happen you are only keeping an animal. – Enid Bagnold
A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I cant help it. – Michael Showalter
The Final Jeopardy! questions seem to be, by design, things you cant know. And so its not about who knows them, but who can figure them out in thirty seconds. – Ken Jennings
I never did, or countenanced, in public life, a single act inconsistent with the strictest good faith; having never believed there was one code of morality for a public, and another for a private man. – Thomas Jefferson, 1809