Commas in The New Yorker fall with the precision of knives in a circus act, outlining the victim. – E.B. (Elwyn Brooks) White

I always put the apostrophe in “ain’t” to make certain I’m using proper improper English. – Author unknown

A semicomma, we should note, doesn’t exist; we just made the word up. But it sounds like a punctuation mark that should exist, doesn’t it? – Richard Lederer and John Shore, Comma Sense: A Fun-damental Guide to Punctuation

There are people who embrace the Oxford comma and people who don’t, and I’ll just say this: never get between these people when drink has been taken. – Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation