I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. – Brendan Behan
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer. – Brendan Behan
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. – Brendan Behan
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. – Brendan Behan
How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things. – Dorothy Parker, Here Lies, 1939