A child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad. – John Andrew Holmes

There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst. – George Bernard Shaw

There are no illegitimate children — only illegitimate parents. – Leon R. Yankwich