I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those whove had luck with it and those who havent. – Bill Cosby
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when hes in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. – Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry. – Bill Cosby
Women dont want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice. – Bill Cosby
Every time I say sure when I mean no, every time I smile brightly when Im exploding with rage, every time I imagine my mans achievement is my own, I know the cheerleader never really died. I feel her shaking her ass inside me and I hear her breathless, girlish voice mutter T-E-A-M, Yea, Team. – Louise Bernikow