Grammar

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That’s basic spelling that every woman ought to know. – Mistinguett, quoted in Theatre Arts, Volume39, Issue12, 1955

Among the losses punctuation suffers through the decay of language is the slash mark or diagonal… – Theodor W. Adorno (1903–1969), “Punctuation Marks,” Notes to Literature, V

If the English language had been properly organised by a businessman or Member of Parliament, then there would be a word which meant both “he” and “she”, and I could write, “If John or Mary comes heesh will want to play tennis”, which would save a lot of trouble. – A.A. Milne

A pronoun… will aptly reflect the number of its antecedent: they does not refer to one person, no matter how many personalities she or he has, or how eager you are to skirt the gender frays. – Karen Elizabeth Gordon, “Agreements,” The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimat

This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put. – Attributed to Winston Churchill, rejecting the rule against ending a sentence wi

The great logical, or grammatical, framework of language, (for grammar is the logic of speech, even as logic is the grammar of reason,) he would possess, he knew not how… – Richard Chenevix Trench, “On the Study of Words,” lecture to the pupils of the D

Grammar makes the difference between feeling you’re nuts and feeling your nuts. – Internet meme

I always put the apostrophe in “ain’t” to make certain I’m using proper improper English. – Author unknown

Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god. – Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Only in grammar can you be more than perfect. – William Safire

Every time you make a typo, the errorists win. – Author unknown

Grammarians squabble, and will squabble long. – Horace (65–8B.C.), De Arte Poetica, translated by George Colman, 1783

Language, never forget, is more fashion than science, and matters of usage, spelling, and pronunciation tend to wander around like hemlines. – Bill Bryson, The Mother Tongue: English & How It Got That Way, 1990

Mr Speaker, I said the honourable Member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honourable Member may place the punctuation where he pleases. – Attributed to Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751–1816), responding to a rebuk

When money talks, no one checks the grammar. – Author unknown

A semicomma, we should note, doesn’t exist; we just made the word up. But it sounds like a punctuation mark that should exist, doesn’t it? – Richard Lederer and John Shore, Comma Sense: A Fun-damental Guide to Punctuation

[B]ut why care for grammar as long as we are good? – Artemus Ward (1834–1867), Pyrotechny, “V.—What This Young Man Said”

Linguists are no different from any other people who spend more than nineteen hours a day pondering the complexities of grammar and its relationship to practically everything else in order to prove that language is so inordinately complicated that it is impossible in principle for people to talk. – Ronald W. Langacker (b.1942), Language and Its Structure, 1973

No one can write perfect English and keep it up through a stretch of ten chapters. It has never been done. – Mark Twain

There are people who embrace the Oxford comma and people who don’t, and I’ll just say this: never get between these people when drink has been taken. – Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation