Birth and death are so closely related that one could not destroy either without destroying the other at the same time. It is extinction that makes creation possible. – Samuel Butler
A mans friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage – but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends. – Samuel Butler
Every one should keep a mental wastepaper basket and the older he grows the more things he will consign to it — torn up to irrecoverable tatters. – Samuel Butler
Brigands demand your money or your life women require both. – Samuel Butler
What a strange thing is the propagation of life! A bubble of seed which may be spilt in a whores lap, or in the orgasm of a voluptuous dream, might (for aught we know) have formed a Caesar or a Bonaparte — there is nothing remarkable recorded of their sires, that I know of. – Lord (George Gordon) Byron
I was a huge fan of comedy and movies and TV growing up, and I was able to memorize and mimic a lot of things, not realizing that that meant I probably wanted to be an actor. I just really, really amused myself and my friends with memorizing entire George Carlin or Steve Martin albums. – Hank Azaria