Smoking helps you lose weight — one lung at a time! – “Alfred E. Neuman” (Mad Magazine)

He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven. – Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, What Will He Do With It?

It is quite a three-pipe problem. – Arthur Conan Doyle, The Red-Headed League

A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? – Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray