In the beginning there was nothing. God said, “Let there be light!” And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. – Ellen DeGeneres
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. – Ellen DeGeneres
Ive been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so its pretty equal. I dont know why that is. Its been the same thing for a while. Its hard for female comedians to stand out. Thats weird. Thats a shame. – Ellen DeGeneres
Even before I knew I was gay, I knew I didnt want to have a child. I knew I didnt want to have one. I never want to have to release it from me. Listen, I love babies. I love children. And I melt when Im around them. I also love my freedom and I love that I can sleep at night. – Ellen DeGeneres
My grandfather was a man, when he talked about freedom, his attitude was really interesting. His view was that you had obligations or you had responsibilities, and when you fulfilled those obligations or responsibilities, that then gave you the liberty to do other things. – Clarence Thomas