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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in

We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. – Robert Louis Stevenson, “Virginibus Puerisque II,” Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

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This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday… I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldnt let me – Homeland Security. – Art Buchwald

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A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. – Erma Bombeck

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