Theres no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you

Theres no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it. – Louis C. K.

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Dont kid yourself. President Obamas decision to withdraw 33,000 troops from Afghanistan before he stands for reelection is not driven by the United States position of strength in the war zone as much as it is by grim economic and political realities at home. – Ron Fournier

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When a criminal breaks into your home Ill let the liberals call the lawyer. Im going to call Smith &amp Wesson. – Rick Perry

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Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does. – Frank Dane

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What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. – Russell Baker

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