Women, don’t get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you’re twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor. – Billy Elmer
If you’re ever in a jam, a crayon scrunched up under your nose makes a good pretend mustache. – “Phil’s-osophy” by Phil Dunphy (Christopher Lloyd, Steven Levitan, and Dan
Ive traveled all over the country for years speaking in churches, teaching the Ten Commandments. Its amazing if 2 percent of any congregation knows the Ten Commandments. – Randall Terry
