For my own part, I would rather be in company with a dead man than with an absent one; for if the dead man gives me no pleasure, at least he shows me no contempt; whereas the absent one, silently indeed, but very plainly, tells me that he does not think me worth his attention. – Lord Chesterfield
A constant smirk upon the face, and a whiffing activity of the body, are strong indications of futility. – Lord Chesterfield
He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves. – Lord Chesterfield
Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison. – Lord Chesterfield
My mother told me Homer Ditto was not my father. Nope. Mom had had a fling with some other guy who was my dad. Some dude who didnt stick around too long who Mom was happy to get rid of. She chose Homer, and Homer chose me, so he lent me his name even though I didnt have his blood. – Beth Ditto