Take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, and terrified citizens will phone the police and report, “There’s a naked person outside!” – Mike Nichols
Today, over half of Chinas undergraduate degrees are in math, science technology and engineering, yet only 16 percent of Americas undergraduates pursue these schools. – Cathy McMorris
The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like Mad Men is disgusting. Its a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it. – Jonah Hill