“Correct” spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma’ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world. – H.L. Mencken, The American Language, SupplementII: An Inquiry into the Developme

A pronoun… will aptly reflect the number of its antecedent: they does not refer to one person, no matter how many personalities she or he has, or how eager you are to skirt the gender frays. – Karen Elizabeth Gordon, “Agreements,” The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimat

Mr Speaker, I said the honourable Member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honourable Member may place the punctuation where he pleases. – Attributed to Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751–1816), responding to a rebuk

There are people who embrace the Oxford comma and people who don’t, and I’ll just say this: never get between these people when drink has been taken. – Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation