Thus we have now for many centuries triumphed over nature to the extent of making certain secondary characteristics of the male (such as the beard) disagreeable to nearly all the females—and there is more in that than you might suppose. – C.S. Lewis (Screwtape letter)
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. – Marie Corelli
![[H]e hath a most remarkable Beard, the largest and blackest I ever](/quote/hath-most-remarkable-beard-largest-blackest-ever.jpg "[H]e hath a most remarkable Beard, the largest and blackest I ever")
