Diogenes struck the father when the son swore. – Robert Burton, “Anatomy of Melancholy,” Democritus to the Reader, 1621
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Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. – Dave Barry
The heart of the jealous knows the best and most satisfying love, that of the others bed, where the rival perfects the lovers imperfections. – Djuna Barnes
I went to a Catholic high school and it seemed like every time I drew something for a class project, it either got thrown away by the teacher or something. – Mike Judge
